The Misadventures of a Clown Princess
by GothamsFinestKillsz
Summary: Marie Antoinette Napier is just like your typical teenaged Gothamite. Other than the fact her father is the Joker, she has a smart mouthed murderous alter personality named Toonz, and her best friends are children of the Rogues gallery. Antoinette's birthday is supposed to be the beginning of great things, but fate has other plans... Heads Up: Profanity, drug use & sex
1. Humble Beginnings

**Humble Beginings**

_Tskk! Tskk! Tskk!_

The horrible reminder that my sweet dreams were over clanged its way through the silence of my bedroom. I grimaced as I felt the beautiful lull of sleep flee from my body and groggily rolled over to reach the decrepit monkey cymbal alarm clock that lied atop my night stand. After a few futile attempts of trying to find the goddamn snooze button, I finally got pissed and chucked the stupid shit at the furthest wall.

_Why the hell did you even set that thing up?_

It was Saturday and Saturdays were my chill days. I gave a frustrated huff and made my way to my bathroom. After assessing to the necessities I went to take a seat at the vanity nestled aside my bedroom door. As I sat with my reflection I couldn't shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. This wasn't necessarily a common feeling for me, so it was really fucking bugging me.

_Was today the bank job dad was talking about? _

Well I wasn't gonna get anywhere with Toonz asking me questions that I didn't know the answer to.

_Time to have a word with daddy dearest._

I had to look reasonable before I walked out there though, teasing the henchmen was always fun. I tied a black bandana around my head, separating my lengthy red bangs from the rest of my hair. I painted the usual thick black wings onto my eyelids and covered my lips in blood maroon lipstick.

After I placed my black 7/8 gauges into my ears, I reached for my black and grey checkered pajama pants. After I settled on a loose midnight off-the-shoulder long sleeve, I made sure my belly ring was clearly visible along with the roses and playing cards that were tatted along my left side. Finally pleased with my appearance I began the journey to father's study.

* * *

As I made my way down the rickety steps of the old warehouse we called home, I could hear and smell bacon cooking. My stomach began to ache for some Ms. Piggy so I settled on getting something to eat before speaking to dad. The moment I reached the living room Harley leapt over the kitchen counter and tackled me into a bear hug. I let out an _OOF__! _as we flew backwards onto the old couch.

"_Motheroffffuckk!_ Harley you could have just fucking said good morning!" I shouted breathlessly as she finally released me and helped me to my feet. She had that goofy ass smile slapped across her face which I figured was due to her and dad's mindless shagging last night.

_Christ it sounded like 40 wolves being shot down in a novelty shop. _I let out an internal shiver and placed my attention back towards the bubbly clown in front of me.

"I'm sorry Toni baby but how can you expect me to be so calm on such a special day!?" She giggled madly and led (basically _dragged_ ) me over to the kitchen and placed a large saucer filled with strawberry and cream pancakes, bacon and eggs in front of me, along side a tall glass of orange juice. I was skeptical against this random act of kindness...but bacon is bacon..

"Sooo...what's all this about?" I asked as I chewed on the crispy piece of pork. Harley looked at me as if I backhanded Mister J.

"_Oh my god.._ You _really _don't know what today is do you?" Her voice shocked and stunned._ This is starting to become irritating..._

"Umm, no I don't. That's why I asked you the damn question Harl." I spat through my teeth.

_This woman's idiocy holds no boundaries... Can we dip before I choke her out like last time? _

I grabbed my plate and headed to the large wooden door located in the far back of the living space.

"You know what, I'll just figure it out myself since I'm getting nothing but stupid questions!" I shouted over my shoulder hastily. Harley had whined a response but I walked away swiftly to escape the ditzy blonde and her annoying voice.

Once I reached the entrance, I rapped lightly on the old study door and waited to be called in as usual. After a few seconds of silence a curt _"Come in."_ muffled its way through the thick oak wood. I slowly entered and closed the door behind softly behind me. He didn't really acknowledge my presence until the scent of my still steaming breakfast permeated the air. The moment it did, he raised his head painstakingly slow with a _longgg_ smirk rounded about his white face.

"Looks like Harley didn't screw up breakfast this time." He said with a raised eyebrow. I grinned and placed the plate at the far end of his desk, purposely avoiding the blueprints. Last time I fucked up like that he knocked some sense into me so hard, Toonz couldn't talk for a week!

As my father ate and scribbled away I couldn't help but let my mind wander on the mentally unstable man. All of Gotham, including most of the Rogues gallery, were completely scared of him. A psychopathic homicidal clown prince of crime who had caused more deaths than the population of this city. Everyone saw this man as a deviant to society, but I saw him as my daddy..

Most people would have ran for the hills at the fact that they were the spawn of the Joker but I didn't seem to mind. This was my father whom I loved and adored.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a wad of paper bouncing off my forehead. Jolted, I looked upwards to see dad's annoyed expression boring into me.

"My bad, Toonz was just commenting on how dapper you look this morning." I gave him my most sincere smile but he sneered at the obvious lie.

_Fuck, how does he always know when we're bullshitting him!?_

"Well tell her to shut it the fuck up while I'm talking or I'll just have to saw into that pretty little skull of yours and have a _very serious_ conversation with_** that**_ annoying parasite..." His voice menaced in its usual harsh dark soulless tone.

I could do nothing but solemnly nod and chew at my bottom lip.

_...I fucking hate it when he does that._.

I peeked at him from beneath my lowered lashes. My father sneered -_obviously because he's pissed the fuck off\- _ and ran one large alabaster hand through his green waves.

"_**As I was saying...**_" he hissed before his whole demeanor did a full 180. "What time do you want to go shopping?"

"Shopping?"

_Shopping?_ _Why the motherfuck are we going shopping? If someone doesn't fill us into the loop right now, _**_I promise_**_, there will be blood! _ Tooney was loosing her patience and before I could stop her, she dragged me into the back of our mind and took lead.

"What the fuck is it with today!? First that piece of shit alarm clock that doesn't have a stupid snooze button, then Harley attacks us with her happy ass and now shopping!? If someone doesn't give us answers pronto im'a go postal!" Her voice was so piercing loud on the inside. It made me cower even further back into my psyche to escape the deafening shrieks.

He looked at her with a mixture of anger, confusion and amusement pulling at his face. I quickly gained some control back and folded my arms across my chest and bit my lip to help restrain Toonz' urge to cuss him out any further. Noticing this, his grin got even wider as he stood up and began making his way over to me.

"Why Marie Antoinette Napier, I am shocked!" He placed a gloved hand to his chest in mocked suprise. "I thought you've been _**dying **_for this day to show its face so you two could have that ridiculous party you've been scrambling about in preparation for-"

"HOLY SHIT IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!" I shot up so fast that I sent the chair I was settled on clear across the room. Daddy let out a cackling laugh, one hand on his painted face while the other clutched at his stomach.

How the fuck did we forget?

_Because we do wayyy to many drugs._

I stifled a laugh and pondered on the news. Toonz and I had been taking turns ran-sacking Gotham and its civilians for the last four months just so we could have our own personal spending money for the day. I'm most positive that $25,583 is gonna do us plenty of good. I wondered if Rose, Eric and Jackson were already on their way over? Dad had silently crept behind me and pulled a medium black box from his purple coat pocket as he closed the small distance between us. I turned and noticed the change in his eyes, suddenly soft and caring.

"Happy eighteenth birthday my babygirl." I could feel my cheeks flush at the typical nickname.

He handed me the gift and coaxed me to open it up. I nervously lifted the top of the case; you can never be too careful with the world's greatest trickster as your father.

Inside the box was the combination to dad's "fun-time funds" safe, located in his bedroom beneath the floorboards. There were also keys to a 1970 Bentley T Coupe. _No fucking way in hell.._ My voice mirrored Tooney's words, mine slightly trembling from the excitement. Daddy took my hand and led me out to the front of the warehouse where, waiting for me, was the all black Bentley of my dreams. Chrome rims and tinted windows like we've always wanted. I squealed and threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and peppering him with kisses all over his cheek.

"I know, I know! Im like the coolest dad ever aren't I?" He playfully asked as he held on tight. _This can NOT get any better!_

At that moment I saw Chuckles, one of our longtime henches, open up the back door of my new whip and out poured my crew of psychotic friends.

First was a striking red head, her hair falling in cascades of deep maroon down her back. Rosaline 'Rosie' Isley, daughter of the infamous Poison Ivy. She was just as striking as her mother with her seductive cherub face and deep emerald eyes. We were practically sisters since Harls and Ivy were so close. She was charming and sweet, just like her name, but hurt her babies and she'd make sure you died with a thousand thorns stuck up your ass.

Following her out was Eric Nigma, son of the Riddler. He was a ginger just like dear old dad and thick prescription Ray-Bands covered his face. He was a whiz at hacking and solving brain scrambling puzzles. And although he didn't look threatening, with his freckled face and hipster fashion, he was still pretty twisted. He's been recognized widely for his Saw inspired death traps.

Lastly, there was Jackson Crane, son of Scarecrow. He was one dark son of a bitch and I loved it. Despite our father's constant bickering we became great friends. He had midnight locks that fell to his shoulders, his bangs often blocking his strikingly hazel eyes. He had learned how to improve his father's signature fear serum into many different forms. Some blind you, others cause schizophrenia but regardless, the result is you clawing your eyes out in desperate attempt to make the horrors cease.

As the trio made their way over to me I couldn't help but giggle. Rose had decorated everyone's hair with daisies and while they walked she made it rain rose petals and marigolds on our heads. Eric was cheesing like a dork while Jackson was pouting and muttering something rude underneath his breath. Rosie ignored him and ran over to decorate my hair too.

"Happy birthday my loves!" She congratulated as she finished tricking out my hair. "Oh we're so gonna get laid tonight. I bought Tooney a little something to make sure of it."

Toonz let out a _whoo! _as I blushed a bright taffy pink. I was totally okay with the fact that Rose and Toonz shagged, hell I was the one who hooked them up in the first place! But that didn't mean I wasn't a little embarrassed to be caught in the middle of it sometimes. Pulling me into a hug, she kissed my cheek lovingly and stepped aside so Eric could hand me a green metal sphere. It had a series of numbers covering it. _Heh, typical Eric._ He winked and whispered in my ear as he leant in for a hug.

"Happy birthday Looney Toon, hopefully that'll calm your nerves today."

Even through the alloy I could smell the faint aroma of marijuana. We gave eachother a knowing look and cracked up as he went inside to join Rose. As Jackson crept up he had his hands behind his tall, lean frame. His mischievous smirk proved infectious and caused me to grow on as well.

"Well, well, well.." He began as he flipped his hair to the side so he could peer down at me. His 6'1 height was a whole foot taller than mine, to which he often used to his advantage. "Little Toonz finally hit the big uno ocho. Nice for you to catch up slow poke." His voice slick and full of tease, as always.

Toonz flipped him off and swiftly yanked the bottle of black Absinthe from his back.

"Bite me nightlight!" She yelled playfully over my shoulder as we made a run for it back into the warehouse. As I left I could've sworn he whispered,

_"Not until you beg for it.."_


	2. Party Thrashers

**Party Thrashers**

After ridiculous hours of decorating, shopping, and cooking, the party was finally coming to a start. Daddy had invited all of the Rogues gallery including Boss Maroni. I didn't mind much though, the more the merrier! Plus most of them had kids my age or slightly older so it wasn't gonna be a total crow fest.

I could hear the guests arriving by the sound of laughter and an array of friendly greetings rising from below. My darling Rose was helping me with the finishing touches of my hair while I reapplied my makeup. She had crimped her hair so it would contrast well with my waved style. God it took my breath away to see her in that forest green cocktail dress... My dress was a clingy number that stuck to me like a second skin. It was a thigh length midnight black piece with embroidery patterns covering every inch. Tooney had picked out some arms length lace gloves with the fingers cut out to match. As she grew black roses into my hair I could hear Eric and Jackson bickering outside the door.

"Could you ladies please hurry it up? I've been holding this piss for the past half hour!" Eric whined from the other side of the door. Rose giggled as I rolled my eyes.

"Dude there's literally a men's room in this place, you _do _know that right?" Living with twenty other men meant we had to renovate. _Got me oh so fucked up if anyone thought THAT was gonna happen._ I heard Eric let out an exasperated groan and then stomp his way downstairs.

"You guys want me to start the music now?" Asked Jackson. I had previously given him the playlist for the evening just in case the party had to start without us.

"Yeah." I lightly shouted, "Oh and could you let my dad know that I'll be down in like five minutes, please?"

"Sure thing Tone." And with that he rushed downstairs to join the others. Once gone, me and Rose exited the bathroom before I settled into the seat at my vanity.

_Time for my party powder love. Why don't you let me take a spin for a bit, huh?_

Fine, just hurry up though. Everyone's waiting and you know how much daddy hates people being late, especially for their own party.

_Okay okay, don't sweat it Tones I got this._

With a frustrated huff I allowed Toonz to take lead as I produced a golden vintage compact mirror from beneath the counterfeit bottom of the vanity's single drawer. As I drifted into our psyche, I could see myself change. The expression on my face transitioned from calm to wicked, the puddles of grey surround my pupils slowly fading into black...

* * *

"About damn time I get a turn!" Cracking my neck I looked up to see my girl's face grow a naughty smirk in the vanity's reflection.

"Hey Toon, long time no see." Her voice sultrily purred. She exchanged her seat on the bed for one atop the polished wood surface. I could tell her pheromones were raging from the sweet scent of warm vanilla secreting between her tightly crossed legs. Ohhh that's what I'm talking about...

"I know right? It's been what, a whole week since we've played huh Rosie?"

"One VERY long week love and I've been craving for a bit of playtime with you, especially since today _is_ a special occasion." She leaned over and slowly ran her fingers through a piece of my hair, twirling the end around her middle finger.

"Oh is that right?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow. Opening the compact, I withdrew a large razor blade from the black bow tied upon my head. I began to chop up the white powder covering the aged glass. As I did so, Rose started to produce a miniature silver straw from her cleavage. Her sweet, supple... mouth-wateringly soft cleavage. Unintentionally my mind flooded with an explicate montage of Rose's great rack.

_Could we please move this along you fucking perv? You guys can screw like Tasmanian devils for all I care, but do it on your own time!_

News flash fucktard this IS MY TIME!

Before little Ms. Joykiller could say anything else I poured a fat line onto Rosie's left tit and sniffed it strait to the fucking dome. That sure as shit shut her ass up. After licking the residue off of her honey sweet skin, we headed downstairs towards the bumping bass of music.

As we descended the stairs, her arm looped into mine, I could see all the eyes in the room fall onto me. Some looks were of adoration, others of lust, but all were accompanied with shock and surprise at the sight of the striking red haired clown heiress. My father was the first to snap out of the daze and began clapping as we reached the bottom of the decline. He was wearing his signature purple suit but this one was a bit more formal. Harley was at his side, dressed in a long red dress with a slit running up her thigh, it's pattern identical to her jester outfit. By the time I had grasped the gloved hand he had held out towards me there was a full on round of applause. With the raise of his other hand, the ruckus ceased and my father began his speech.

"Thank you, thank you everyone. As you all know, we've invited you to our humble abode to help celebrate my dear daughter's coming of age. It feels like just yesterday I was teaching her how to create her first explosive-" His voice turned husky as he tried to gather his emotions. He then turned his attention towards me, his face full of reminiscence and pride.

"My darling Antoinette. I've watched you grow and blossom into the educated, gorgeous young woman you are today. Seeing you in action, whether it's being the getaway driver or performing in a heist, reminds me just how lucky a clown like me is. May you live with a smile on your face and ice in your heart just like me. Happy 18th birthday sweetheart." My eyes watered as he brought a kiss to my knuckles. I felt my heart swell as I looked upon him.

"Thanks daddy," I wrapped my arms around his torso tightly, indulging in his scent. "I love you." My voice low so that only he could hear.

"I love you too darling." He whispered in return. As we broke our embrace I turned to address my guests.

"Well enough with all the emotions, huh? Now everyone eat, drink, and be merry!" With that said, the music resumed its blaring, bottles were popped, and there was laughter all around. Rose had left my side to discuss our plans for the after party with her mother and Eric was busy trying to get Natalie Fries' number. **(A/N: Pronounced "freeze"; daughter of Mr. Freeze) **So I persuaded Jackson to take a break from doing nothing to accompany me and mingle with our party goers. After a brief discussion with Boss Moroni and his boy Antonio, we wondered over to the bar where our fathers were seated with some fellow Rogues. Joker, Professor Crane, Harvey/Two-Face, and Edward Nigma were all chatting about old escapades and future heists. As we approached the group we couldn't help chuckling at the comical sight of my father teasing Edward, as always.

"For the last time, it was NOT a leotard!" Eddie gritted through his teeth.

"Well then that was one tight ass suit!" Daddy cackled out loud. Crane smirked while Harvey let out a husky laugh. The sound of my laughter joined theirs and brought attention to the both of us. There was an array of "Heys!" and "Congratulations!" flowing, along with drinks being raised in my honor. Edward had curtly excused himself so I took his seat inbetween dad and Dent while Jackson sat beside his father.

As sat and sipped from my glass of black Absinthe, I noticed in my peripheral the way Harvey was eyeing me down from behind his glass. Dent and my father buddies way before I was born and over the years I had developed a juvenile crush on him. He was notefull to it but didn't really think anything of it until I hit sixteen. When my lips got fuller and my hips widened, that was when he started giving me that look. I hadn't seen him in the last few months and to be completely honest, he wasn't looking too bad himself.

_He's looking like a complete heartthrob like always...God I want HIM as my birthday present. _

Ha! And I'm the so-called "pervert"? I felt the hint of a blush curse my cheeks as I took a thoughtful sip out of my glass.

"So what are you crazy kids planning to do for the after party dear?" Daddy inquired. I grinned mischievously and giggled as I thought about the scenario.

"Well first, me and the crew were gonna cruise around and hit the Lounge. We invited some friends but most of them were bad bitches, ya know, just for show and entertainment. Then after getting faded and whatnot, we'll fuck up Gotham until the sun comes up." I stated with a casual tone. His Glasgow grin stretched a mile wide then we shared a maniacal laugh. As it died down he wiped a tear from his eye and placed a hand on my back.

"Now that's what I call a celebration! Damn good time you'll be having, that's for sure." He let out a resigned sigh, "Reminds me of my younger years..."

His eyes glazed as his flashbacks clouded his vision. I didn't see why he was reminiscing, he would do the same thing every time Harley and him got into a huge fight. All I could do was shake my head and chuckle at the thought as I turned and watched the party. As I observed everyone mingle and dance, I heard a deep gravely voice start beside me.

"Are we invited too?"

I turned to see Harvey -or should I say Harv, since this was obviously his dark side speaking to me- sipping his scotch and looking at me with his scarred eyebrow raised. _Sweet mercy, I think I just came a little..._ I grinned and flipped my long hair to the other side so he could get a full view of my features.

"Why of course Harv; it wouldn't be a party without your looney ass." He gave me a comically surprised look and grinned.

"Coming from the girl who once castrated a man with a baking mixer because he looked at her boobs too long." I sputtered a bit and turned scarlet. Jeez, do it only once and they never let you live it down.

"You mean what you were doing just a few moments ago?" I rhetorically questioned before bringing my glass back to my lips. I saw his blood rush to his cheeks at the fact that he was caught. He stood abruptly and replied with a curt "Excuse us." before leaving the bar.

_Awww he's so adorable when he's all flustered like that._

* * *

**Sorry for cutting this chapter short but I'll make up for it during the next chapter. I'll try to update a new chapter by the end of each week but don't quote me on it okay? This is my first continuing story line so apologies to anyone who finds my writing a sad excuse for a fanfic.  
Oh and chapter three will introduce a new second generation Rogue! *claps* Also changing POVs other than inbetween Antoinette and Toon. Also there will be more drug scenes and explicate content so buckle up. *excited fangirl squee* **


	3. After Party

**Welcome to the third installment of my Clown Princess saga! Now for a little heads up: 1)This scene starts with Antoinette's POV since she has gained control again sometime after her and Harvey's brief conversation. 2)NEW 2nd GENERATION ROGUE INTRODUCTION(S)! {lol gonna leave a bit of mystery to that one MWAAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH!} 3)Our clown heiress discovers a hidden skeleton in her closet that she didn't even know existed. /.^ Sooo very excited to carry on this story and btw I apologize if the beginning is kinda slow and suckish otay? Without further ado, I present chapter 3 of The Misadventures of a Clown Princess...**

* * *

**After Party **

It had been a few hours since the shindig back at the warehouse had begun but it was time for the real fun to commence. Daddy had appointed Rocco the grand duty of chauffeuring us for the rest of the evening while the adults stayed and played. So now the crew and I were zooming down the darkened streets of Gotham; a handful of cars tailed behind us filled with the city's most wanted youths, swerving and hanging out of the windows. Naturally we had made it across the city in record timing, screeching to a complete halt in front of the long standing nightclub. Mr. Cobblepot was already at the double door entrance, his rich Cockney accent meeting me before our hands did.

"Ahhh my dear Antoinette, such a pleasha' to have you here on your special day!" His outstretched flipper clasped around my palm in a warm handshake as we passed through the threshold.

"Thank you so much Pengs, I'm so glad you could accommodate all of us on such short notice. My father sends his regards as well." His smile didn't falter but the warmth in his eyes did.

"Likewise." He replied monotonically. I wouldn't blame his reaction though, him and dad had came to a truce years ago, but Ozzy never forgot all the gags the clowns had played on him in the past. Like when dad and Harls thought it would be hilarious to drive his ammunitions truck off a pier just for the fuck of it.  
_Ahahahaha, hey that IS pretty funny if you picture it._ I could just imagine Daddy and Harls in the truck, its descent into the water in slow motion as they howled in maniacal laughter with the view of a fuming Penguin in the rear-view.

Heh, okay was pretty comical.

_*giggle*_

Oswald showed me the bar, the VIP booth above, and also the hidden emergency exit route just in case some unwanted rodents of the night came crashing in like fucking Rambo. After jotting down mental notes on the layout of the place (thanks to a nervous habit passed on from daddy), I gave the DJ my playlist and began partying like a real psychopath does. Me and Jackson began pouring shots from behind the bar while Rose and Eric rolled up a few jays. OG Maco's "Extendos" was bumping out of the speakers while everyone danced and enjoyed themselves. One of Rose's vines gently wrapped around my wrist and tugged me gently from behind the counter and towards the VIP booth. I looked back Jackson and beckoned him to come along.  
Once we reached the top of the stairs I nearly had a heart attack at what laid before me. Settled on a single frosted glass table was a two foot tall bong I had only dreams of owning. It's thick glass donned pictures of old school Looney Tune characters all in their various classic predicaments. Even Toonz was stuck stupid in her words. With a shaky hand I wiped a tear from beneath my watery eyes and looked at everyone before me in the up most admiration and smiled.

"Y-you guys...I cant-t believe this...I..." My voice caught in my throat and soon I was nothing but a great big bundle of emotional sentiment. Jackson wrapped his arms around my clavicle and hugged me tight from behind. Rose rushed over and cooed over me while she stroked my hair out of my face. Eric eventually let out a huff and walked over to join the cuddle parade as well.

"Shush now pretty girl, why do you cry huh?" Rose sweetly inquired as she cupped my face in both her hands.

"Yeah, I like you better when you're making everyone else cry." Eric added on in a teasing manner. I let out a giggle followed by a sniffle.

"Yeah, little miss psychopathic clown heiress my ass." Jackson mocked in my ear.

I promptly stepped on his toe with the heel of my shoe earning a satisfying groan of pain as a response. The group hug disbanded as we took our seats at the two gothic loveseats surrounding the fancy surface, Jackson taking his place beside me as always. While Rose grew some Grand Daddy Purps from the coin purse full of soil she kept with her at all times, Eric began replacing the bowl piece of my bong with a dab attachment.

"Hey Tone, did you happen to figure out the code to my little gift?" He asked with an impish smirk as he torched the metal piece.

"We were waiting on you dude." I returned in the same manner. I retrieved the green sphere from my clutch and unscrewed the top of it. There was about an eighth of clear wax within and I shuddered at the sight. Jackson pulled out the needle to one of his syringes inside his black overcoat and twirled a good amount of the sticky substance around it. At that moment Eric handed me the bong and Jackson positioned the metal stick above the white hot coil. As I put my lips within the ring of cool glass I could hear my comrades congratulate me in unison.

"Happy Birthday!"

About twelve dabs and six more shots later and we were in business. Me and and Rose were pretty faded and stood at the center of the dancefloor among all the other girls; grinding and working our hips as the men watched with predatory eyes. As I leaned forward and rolled my hips in the most delicious ways against Rose I could feel her dainty hands griping onto me with fervor.  
_We're driving the poor thing crazy._ Toonz cooed with fake pity and I giggled to myself. Her hands left me along with the furnace that was her body but I was way too caught up in my head to even notice. I didn't even realize I accidentally backed up into someone else, resuming my seductive _ass_-ult on my unknown victim. They froze at first but then, ever so slowly, wrapped their large hands around my tiny waist and squeezed. I grinned to myself as I rubbed my soft cheeks against their prominent erection, feeling them pull me in closer._ Don't worry love, we ain't goin' nowhere._ I leaned my back into his well-built chest and traced my small hands over his...until I felt something off.. One of his hands were smooth while the other felt scarred and bumpy. I twirled my head back and upwards to meet the low-lidded gaze of Harvey, his jaw was slightly slacked and both eyes were glazed over as if in a trance. If the alcohol hadn't already reddened my cheeks then I would have turned into a tomato.

"Huh-Harvey!? Oh God I'm so sorry for putting my...o-on your..." I was a bumbling mess so Toon tried to help me get straight to the point. "What the fuck are you doing here!?"

Harvey rolled his eyes and readjusted his tie, "You invited us, remember? You said to drop by so here I am and if you don't mind, id like my hands uncrushed thank you." I looked down to see my hands unconsciously clutching at his for dear life. I licked my lips nervously and dropped them. He clenched and relaxed his plams then produced a black cigarette from within his inner suit pocket. I couldn't help watch this gorgeous specimen with awe as he took a drag from the cancer stick and peered down at my through the smoke.

"So you just gonna stare at me all night or should I just find my own party to crash?" he sarcastically questioned. I snapped out of my daze and was about to apologize until a voice interrupted over the speakers.

"How's everybody doin' tonight!?" The DJ's voice boomed with excessive hype as everyone cheered and hooted in response. "That's wassup! Now first of all I gotta congratulate the birthday the girl, Antoinette! We got mad love for you Looney T, throwing the party of the fucking year for us menaces." A blue spotlight landed on me and Harv and everyone raised their drinks to further congratulate me. I blushed and absent mindedly leaned into Harv a bit more, earning a genuine grin from him in return.  
"Now we have a few games set up for the evening including body shots, Simon Says, and King's Cup; but first is Lapdance Liaison! So can I please get four lucky men to come to the front of the booth?"

In an instant I saw Killer Croc's son, William Jones, charge his way to the front and take a seat at one of the four chairs placed in a row. Next came Bane's son Bradious, followed by a Penguin's boy Oscar. Before anyone else could even think about taking the last seat, I dragged Harv to the front and nearly threw him in the chair. He began to protest but Toonz clapsed her hands together and pouted her lips, pleading with him silently, so he cursed and stayed in his place. The Iceburg girls then started to tie silk blindfolds onto the men, making Harv laugh to himself at being a part of such a spectacle. After their eyesight was securely deprived the DJ asked for four girls to make their way to the front. I saw Rose slink her way up and I raced to her side. Natalie Fries soon followed as well as Betty Monroe, Calendar Girl's daughter. We all were silently chosen our partners and my heart swooned at the fact that I got Harvey's name. The slow music began to play and I decided to let Toonz have her way with him. She was a far better dancer than me anyways, and I wanted Dent to remember this...

* * *

**About five minutes and one hilarious surprise nutbust later**, courtesy of Flipper Jr, the slow grinding came to a close. Rose and I couldn't stop calling him "Prema-Pengs" which eventually led to the boy running for his father like the whiny cunt he is. Will Jones was practically in love with Rose after the little show, following her around like a lost puppy in heat. It was quite comical though, seeing a six-foot seven croc/human hybrid black guy with dreads play Cupid's bitch for a plant goddess. Harv had since excused himself to the bathroom and I couldn't help but giggle at the obvious tent in his trousers.

"Looks like you caught a big one." I said dryly as Will finally left her side to fetch us drinks. Rose pouted her lips out and wrapped her pair of tone, slender arms around my neck.

"Aww don't worry baby, you know I could never replace my Looney Tooney. No one's as crazy as you love and that's just how I like it." She bit her lip bottom coquettishly and with a light growl I reached down and squeezed her firm apple shaped ass. I leaned in and grazed my lips against her jawline, causing a soft moan to escape her supple lips. Just as her mouth met mine there was a loud throat clearing that broke us out of our lustful trance. **_Well this better be fucking good!_** I turned my head to meet the spiteful glare of Noir (Noah) Sinois, the son of that dead bastard Black Mask. I scowled and felt my body go rigid as the boy with the ivory skull mask smirk at me and Rose's predicament.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything girls, but I did have to make an appearance at your little soiree." The snarkyness in his tone was highly apparent and it lit a short fuse in me. _How dare this scum of the earth walk in here like he runs shit!_ Rose could feel the tension rising fast and decided to intervene before anything aggressive could reach my tongue.

"Well how considerate of you but you weren't invited for a reason buddy." She hissed. Out of the corner of my eye I could see one of her vines ever-so-slowly creeping it's way towards Noah's feet, seemingly unnoticed. He snickered audibly and leaned in on his cane.

"So Antoinette..or Toon, whichever half-assed persona of yours I'm speaking to, I'd love to do the honor of making you into a _real woman_." He licked his lips and inched a bit too close for comfort as he eyed me up and down. **_He's about to get a fucking dagger to the kneecap if he takes one more step._** I could practically hear my teeth grinding together and I almost didn't notice that I was slowly crushing Rose's poor hand. She whimpered and I let go but refused to take my eyes off the bastard for even a second.

"Thanks for the offer but I wouldn't want to catch any diseases from a lowlife whore-fucking failure like yourself." I gritted through a forced smile. "Gotta keep the family line a proud one for Joker's sake." His eyes twitched just the slightest at the mention of my father._ Looks like somebody is still traumatized,_ Tone snickered. I relished in the memory of my father spilling Black Mask's blood for days on end, reducing the high and mighty Roman Sinois into nothing more than a puddle of blood, tears and piss.

"True, true. Wouldn't wanna upset Daddy now would we?" His voice suddenly dropped an octave. "Plus I remember you're more of a bondage bukakke type of girl..."

And that was the rock that broke the camel's back...

I screamed and lunged for his throat, crushing his air passages. His group of men were too slow to withdraw their weapons and ended up in a giant tangled mess of Rose's vines. Me and Noah had fell to the ground which caused me to loose my grip and unintentionally giving him the upper hand, literally. The rogue rolled on top of me to place his cane to my throat. Screaming and shouting obscenities, I ripped off his mask and tried to beat him with it. This only resulted in him howling in mirth and further pressing the wood against my windpipe. As I slowly suffocated, Toni began berating me on how daddy would beat our ass if we let this piece of filth kick our asses, as if the lecture would magically get this beast off of me. Everything around me began to muffle and fuzz out of focus, causing Toni's desperate words to soon flitter out.

_**This is it. This is how I die, by a fucking Sinois. At least I went out with a bang...**_

Before I fell into the dark looming abyss of the afterlife I felt the pressure on my neck cease. Abruptly so, followed by a set of large arms lifting me up to my feet. I was a little wobbly and ended up using the figure to support my weight. My chin was lifted lightly to meet the concerned inspection of Harvey's eyes. He frowned at the marks along my neck and I couldn't help but let out a raspy giggle. Rose was still fighting back the False Facers so all she could do was shout over shoulder.

"Is she okay!?" There was panic in her voice and it made my head swell to know such a dame cared that I was nearly killed.

"Yeah she's alright, aren't you Tones?" Harvey was still holding me close as he ran his hand through my hair, cupping my face lastly and sitting me down on the bar stool right behind him. Noah didn't take too kindly to the whole rescue thing and stormed up to Harv with closed fists.

"Hey grandpa this got nothin' to do with you so why don't just move it along before one of your disks slip." He spat. Harvey looked down at the kid and smirked, retrieving his iconic coin from inside his pocket.

"Heads.." Harvey showed to clean side of the coin. "Or tails." He turned the coin to show its scarred condition. He had that gleam in his eye that made my blood boil to the brink._ Oh dear._ I looked around to see that the party goers had made a circle around us and by the looks of things, some had a bone to pick with Noah themselves. Will was holding those who made it out of the vines and Jackson had pumped a few of them with some serious toxin. Eric wasn't necessarily the fighting type so I didn't mind finding him behind the safety of the bar, yet his hand was firmly wrapped around his retractable cane just in case.

"And does it look like I care about that fucking coin you DEFORMED, TWO-FACED FREAK!?" You could hear Harv lose his shit on the inside. Never call Harvey Dent a freak. With a grim line across his mouth, he flipped the coin and slammed it hard against the back of his hand. Everyone backed up before all hell broke loose.

"Well would you look at that.." He said before a nefarious grin replaced his formerly pissed expression. "Tails!" He shouted before he punched Noah's jaw with break-neck speed and force. Everyone cringed at the sound the kid's jaw made on impact before he slumped to the ground. Rose had dropped the rest of the men and they raced to the side of their master's unconscious frame, carrying him to the safety of his BMW and scurting off. I was still struck in awe and stared at Harvey as if he had just killed thirty men before me. He stared after the door with a look of hate for a second, then turned and mumbled "Fucking smart mouthed brat.." as he smoothed out his suit and ordered a whiskey from Eric. It took a minute for Will to break the silence and roared beastily to congratulate the bi-faced man.

"About time somebody put that punk in his place!"

"Yeah, screw Sionis! He's got some nerve anyways! Plus the bastard still owes me sixty bucks!"

Jackson rushed to my side and started to check for any signs of trauma. At least he knew his shit since his dad was a professor. After a quick mini check-up from Dr. Nightlight and a barrage of doteful kisses and coos from Rosie, I excused myself to the VIP section. Harvey soon followed and sat beside me while I packed my Sherlock pipe full of green. He had his coin flipping idly in his hand as he stared at me with the most curious expression. Now I'm used to being stared at in a sense, hell my father is the Joker, but this one wasn't of fear or hate. It was of pure wonderment. Like a child's first time going to Disneyland or seeing a rainbow. I could feel my cheeks flush once he placed a hand over mine and leaned in so close that I could feel his warm breath softly blowing the hair against my neck back.

"Are you sure you're okay? Because I will go out and find that shithead myself and make him pay for pulling some crap like that." I smiled at the thought but gently declined the offer.

"No Harv, you've done enough for tonight. I'm a big girl and next time I see him, he's gonna wish it was you beating him to death instead." I giggled maliciously and scooted closer to him, placing my head against his broad chest and puffing on my pipe as I listened to the thrum of his steady heartbeat. He sighed and leaned his head over mine, snaking a hand around the bend of my waist. The beating of the bass sent a light rhythm through the floor and throughout our bodies.

"I will never let anything happen to you if I can help it, you hear? You mean too much to me for me to just forget about this. I know you probably think I'm only being protective over you because of the friendship between me and J, but it's more than that. You know it as well as I do and I just wanted to make sure that you know that I've never been so infatuated with a woman like I am with you. I- I..." Before he could even finish the sentence I reached up and passionately clashed our lips together. We melted into one as our tongues danced and our breaths left our bodies. As I released him for air, I smiled and cuddled into him.

"I love you too Harvey Dent." I murmured sweetly. Me and Tone both sat front seat for this one, content as we held onto his chest.  
"We both love you..."


	4. Bittersweet Interlude

I l**ove this story lol. It started off with a daydream and now it's blossoming into a literary experience that can be enjoyed by everyone. Well now, just to let you know, Harley is NOT Antoinette's biological mother. That's why she calls Harley by her first name and calls Joker her father. This climactic interlude is dedicated to MetallicGecko, a wonderfully hilarious friend. (:**

* * *

**Bittersweet Interlude**

_**Sirens. Loud sirens and they're getting closer. Broken glass and triggered alarm systems. Who's laughing? Oh...it's me. Priceless gems and artifacts, shiny and sparkly. Vines, fear gas, riddles and coins. GPD and blood everywhere. Gunshots and shattered glass. Getaway cars and giggles. The Batman...**_

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED DOWN HERE!?"

The sound of my father's voice peeled my eyelids open and brought me back to reality. _What did happen last night? _Asked Toonz as I groggily rolled onto my stomach. _And why are we on the floor? _I was eye-to-eye with black and white spats and a concrete floor. As I lifted my heavy head slowly, I eventually met the upset gaze of daddy.

"Wha?...Where am I?" I asked in a raspy tone, my head was swimming and my clothes felt uncomfortably sticky. I managed to prop myself onto my elbows so I could get a better look at my surroundings.

"You're in the living room and BLEEDING all over the place! And we _just_ got the place cleaned up too!" He complained as he yanked me to my feet. I wobbled but that made his grip tighten even more and without warning I received a harsh smack across the face. My eyes bulged and my head split into an unbearable headache.

"I'm sorry! And what do you mean i'm bleeding?" He gave a huff and dragged me to the broken mirror placed at the foot of the steps, allowing me to find out why my clothes felt so sticky. He lifted my shirt to reveal a bullet wound and deep gash across my left ribcage, it was crusted over and swollen but the bullet hole in my side was still leaking red. I raised my eyebrows incredulously and turned towards him.

"Well would you look at that...i've been shot!" I said in the same fashion before my body slugged to the ground.

When I came to I saw that I was in bed and patched up pretty decently. I also realized the cup of water and Ibuprofen and downed both graciously, spilling water all over my clean shirt and bedspread. My cell phone was buzzing from beneath my pillow and I was elated to see that Harvey was calling. _Calm your panties girl, aha. _I furrowed my brows but ignored the immature comment.

"Hello?" I answered shyly. My breathing slightly quickened at the sound of his voice reaching through the speaker.

"Goodmorning sleeping beauty." He said sweetly yet sarcastically. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"So you wanna fill me in on what happened after we left the Lounge because I sure as hell don't remember." He chuckled and I could practically see him shaking his head in humor.

"Do you want a boring lie or the hilarious truth?" I pondered on it and then shrugged.

"The hilarious truth please." I requested with a smile and solid nod.

"Well let's see... After we finished making out in the VIP section, you decided that we should 'blow this popsicle stand' and get to the good stuff. No, not _that _good stuff, sadly." I rolled my eyes and giggled. "So after rounding up the crew and Rocco, we headed to the Gotham Museum to check out that new shipment of clown/jester themed artifacts that had arrived a couple days ago. It sounded easy enough but by the time we pulled up, you were so ripped that I suggested you wait this one out. This lead to you throwing a hissy fit and threatening to "blow our assholes inside out" with a Joker bomb if anyone tried to stop you. After, we finally made it inside for like ten minutes before you tripped and triggered an alarm. You, _again, _decided that we should stay and have a good rumble, so we did. Killed about a dozen pigs and hightailed it out of there. We ran into a bit of trouble on the road though." His voice turned sheepish and I knew what was next to come.

With a great huff I asked him, "Did I piss off Batman?" He laughed, hard and long, at my guess.

"Umm yeah, you could call it that. You kinda puked all over his Batsuit and his Boy Wonder." _HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA OH T-THAT'S PRICELESS! AND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE TOO! O-OHJESUSFUCKINGCHRIST! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA! _I couldn't even believe it...I threw up...on Batman and Robin...in front of all my friends...including Harvey Dent... My love life is no longer existent. I could hear Harvey's chuckling die down and soon after, hear his tone change to a matter of solemn seriousness.

"But then something went wrong.. It happened so fast I couldn't react in time.." His voice wavered a bit, "Bats tossed a batarang your way and it scraped you pretty good. You screamed and when I looked up, I heard a gun shot. Everyone froze, including the Bats, as you gave out a giggle and dropped to the floor like a sack of groceries."

_What the hell? _"So Bats shot me!?" I shouted as I clutched at my wound, flinching as I did so.

"No, no! I was watching him the whole time, it wasn't him. It came from somewhere else. Somewhere outside the fight, as if they were just waiting there for the right time to take you out." I could tell he was getting angry so I tried to lighten up the mood.

"Well what happened to a simple dinner and a movie?" There was a pause and then a snicker.

"You know what kid, you get more and more like J everyday. It's starting to give me a real headache." He joked.

"Yeah let's hope that I don't fall **too** far off the deep end or you'll_ really_ have a conniption." I could tell he was happy again by the way his laugh boomed over the speaker, sweet yet strong and without care. _I wonder if he was the sweetheart who dropped us of at the warehouse? _I did want to know that one so when the giggles died down, I asked.

"Well no actually. Rocc carried you to the car and everyone left with you. I distracted the Bat so you guys wouldn't have any further troubles." Now that's what I call a gentleman.

"Well maybe you could come over today and take care of me Mr. Chivalry? I could use a little R&amp;R-"

**_"Harvey? Baby come back to bed. I already played with Dr. Jekyll and now I wanna see Mr. Hyde."_**

_"..."_

_ What? Eh..eheehhe...eheheeeheheehheeheheahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAA! _Tooney's laughter echoed the sound of my father's, loud and maniacle. She didn't think this was funny either, she just thought that killing Dent and his whore was. I agreed and in the split second I heard her voice I knew **_exactly _**who the bitch was..

"I-is that B-betty Monroe?" I nearly whispered into the receiver. Harvey didn't even get to answer me before the line went dead. I grabbed my keys off my vanity and sprinted out the door, past a surprised Harley and a curious Joker.

**_Dent and his whore just fucked with the wrong FUCKING CLOWN!_**


	5. Author's Update

Hello my pets! It's your neighborhood psycho here to let you know that i'll be taking a break from the adventures of our beloved clown princess to expand my horizons. MEANING: I wanna write a House of 1000 Corpses/The Devil's Rejects fic &amp;&amp;it'll go way faster for me since im currently suffering from writer's block with this chapter. DON"T TRIP THOUGH! I will be coming back to this, just a little later on. Otay? Otay.

~Killsz


	6. Royally Pissed

**Looks like Harvey done fucked up. Lol I couldn't make him too sweet though, he's called "Two-Face" for a reason! Now onwards with the story :3**

* * *

**Royally Pissed**

The sound of honking, crashing and screaming fueled the rage inside me. I had ran every light, caused multiple car wrecks and I was pretty sure I hit a few elderly people as well. My vision was completely crimson and the grip I had on the steering wheel was so tight that my knuckles were white.

_Kill him. Kill her. Kill them both. Cut the bastards up like salami and cheese then burn his apartment building down. Destroy Gotham and ANYONE who speaks their names! NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OUT OF ME! HARVEY DENT I WILL CRUSH YOUR VERY EXISTENCE AND CASTRATE YOU WITH A FUCKING POPSICLE STICK YOU LYING BASTARD! YOU NEVER LOVED ME! _

_But I loved you..._

Gotham's finest police force couldn't touch me on the roads. I was pushing 125mph thanks to the souped up engine, courtesy of Rocc. The pigs finally came to their senses and stopped tailing me, we both knew there was no way they'd get inbetween me and my target. I took a sharp left and floored it towards the towering apartment tower settled in the ritzy, upper-north side of town.

Janus Tower.

As I parked my car in the front of the building and threw my keys at the startled valet boy. Storming my way up to the concierge desk I noticed the frightened looks I was receiving, probably due to fact that I had an AK-102 assault rifle in a death grip. The look in my eyes told everyone that I wasn't playing any games and even the security guards took heed to this silent warning. Once at the counter I pointed the barrel at the young bellboy and looked straight into his soul as I asked him the million dollar question.

"Where. Is. Harvey. Dent?" My voice was dangerously low and soft. The kid, who was probably older than me, froze with complete fear and began stuttering incoherently.

**BLAM. BLAM. BLAM. **And that was the end of the bumbling bellboy..

The sounds of panicked screams were muffled in my rage while I walked behind the desk and searched for the residence book.

**_Harvey Dent~ Penthouse_**

"Of fucking course the pretentious prick lived in the penthouse suite of his own building." I grumbled to myself as I headed into the elevator and made my slow rise to the two-faced fuck's home. I could feel myself internally crumbling with each floor I passed. Tooney's maniacal laughter had toned itself down to whispers and giggles. Her words nothing more than hushed nonsense being echoed throughout my skull and causing me to sink to the floor with a sudden feeling of exhaustion. Bringing my knees to my chest, I cradled my head into my hands and began to cry. _**Hard.**_ My body racked in cadence with my heavy sobs, my eyes stinging and blood shot red with agony.

_How? How could he do this? Why would he do this? What did I do to him to have this happen to me? _

_**You did nothing. He did this, he's the one that fucked up and destroyed the only strand of sanity left in your body. **_

_Tooney? Is that you? _

_**Nuh-uh, hehe.. Think a little bit darker sweetie.**_

_What are you? How'd you get in my head and what did you do to Toonz?!_

_**Oh she's still here, just a bit disheveled at the moment. Hehehe, and me? Well i'm every nightmare that your nightmares have had. I'm every dark thought's depravity. I am the sickness within your sickness hehehe. You see Marie, I've always been with you, in that pitch black thicket part of your mind. Just waiting for the perfect opportunity to come out and play. I am the Marionette; and with me there's nothing but smiles and laughter. So buck up kiddo because this is our stop and I wanna show you just how fun things can get when i'm around.**_

The distinct ding of the elevator snapped me out of it and I quickly rose to my feet. As soon as the doors slid open I heard my new friend whisper **_"Showtime." _**_, _then everything went black.

* * *

**Two-Face's POV {Bold=Two-Face; **_Italics= Harvey Dent}_

"Look sweetcheeks, if you wanna keep that pretty little face of yours then I suggest you skedaddle pronto because i'm positive that shit's about to hit the fan soon."

It had been about twenty minutes since the dumb broad opened her mouth during my conversation with Antoinette and i'm sure that she's on her way over here to kill the dame. All because little pansy boy Harvey got horny.

Actually_ it's your fault for acting so brash about the situation. We could've just came back here and had a nice night filled with lotion and Skinemax, but noooo, YOU had to call Betty over instead._

**Well im tired of just sitting on the couch and wacking off like a fucking teenager! IM A GROWN ASS MAN WITH NEEDS, HARVEY! **

_Alright I understand that, but did you really have to go and screw this loose broad THREE HOURS after we professed our love to Antoinette?! _

**I made no such professions!**

_Bullshit! You said those words just as much as I did and you know it!_

**...**

_Yeah so shut the hell up and get this bitch outta here!_

**Feisty much?**

_Bite me._

I noticed Betty glaring at me as she pulled on the black dress she wore the night before. Hey I should be the one pissed here, she's not the one who has a grade-A second-generation psycho on the way over to their house! Leering back at her I tell her to hurry it up and kick rocks but that doesn't seem to set right with her.

"Screw you Harvey! I'll take my sweet fucking time! Like I'm scared of that clown whore." Betty shouted.

"Hey you should be toots, she's a hell of alot more badass than you and much more deadly." I remarked as I lit a cigar. She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes as she grabbed her purse from the table.

"So when were you gonna tell me you were screwing your pal's daughter?"

**She needs to leave before I shoot her in those fake tits of her's.**

"Leave. NOW!" I slam my fist down on the table and growl for good measure. This hooker is dead regardless but I'm close to killing her first. She has no right to judge me in my own house.

As Betty walks to the elevator the last thing that leaves her mouth is:

"See you in hell Dent."

I hear the ding of the doors open followed by a repetition of unholy gunfire. My cigar nearly fell out of my mouth as Antoinette steps on and over the now recently deceased Betty Monroe.

"Hello lover." Her voice is soft and filled with content madness. Her clothes are splattered with Betty juice and her gun is leisurely rested on her shoulder. Beautiful and deadly.

**Judgement day has arrived and they've sent their darkest angel.**


End file.
